Sample 2: On Beauty and Respect for Women

I was going to post an essay on the Beauty and Respect of Women, but then I realized that I have an excerpt from the story I was talking about before that concerns that topic. Here it is

Saturday, November 14, 2009 (Adam)

            Can’t understand women. Today was a bit hot comparatively. It’s weird since it has been cold for the past few weeks and winter should be around the corner. Anyways, I noticed one of the girls who is an active feminist walking around. She was wearing weird clothes that seemed like they were falling off of her. They were ripped all over. I probably would have thought she got in a fight if I didn’t recognize it to be that “punk” style. The only things I could think of when I saw her walking around in that outfit was “slut.” I know that’s not a nice term per se, but it really is the proper one for describing my impression. I think most guys would agree. They might think it’s “hot,” but that actually supports my argument that they are thinking “slut.” There is just no way I can have any respect for her if she proudly goes around like that.

I do believe ladies deserve more respect than they are given. However, I hold that this respect should emerge from the old ideas of chivalry and/or the ways of the gentleman. I oppose the views of the hardcore feminism as they are in fact opposed to such ideas of respecting women. In the case of hardcore feminists, women try so hard to prove themselves like men, they do all the bad things that men do and forget the ways that make a woman great. Women were made to complement men, not be them. As a result of being a complement, women have a different set of virtues or characteristics. Women in general are, or at least were, perceived to be Pure, Kind, Gentle, Loving, etc. Do these not deserve respect in itself? However, in not acting upon these, women have in fact degraded themselves over the years and so have made it harder to respect.

The typical girl nowadays has adopted a situation worse for them. The lack of modest dress among some have taken away some of the purity and wholeness that they once had. By this I mean that girls have been trying to cheat the system of looking "hot," which by no means is the equivalent of beautiful, despite how the media portrays it. Whenever you hear the term “hot,” it’s always in relation to sex. “Beautiful,” on the other hand, can be considered respectable and is beyond sex. So by women trying to be “hot,” they have in fact made themselves sexual objects instead of human beings. Some dismiss this caution with “beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder,” but it just does not work. If women have to show as much skin as possible to be considered "pretty," are they really pretty at all? The skin is just to distract. In fact, by trying to distract the male gender with their body, women have in fact forgotten perhaps the most human part of their body, their face. The face is the most unique part of the body and is the easiest way to distinguish one woman from another. If it were not for the face, all women would probably be considered the same when dressed immodestly. This could actually even be the reason why so many of the women that resort to this cheating method get dumped or cheated on.

In addressing the kindness of women, this is actually where I hold the most hope for them. While the rate of violence among women has increased over the last century, there are still some whose kindness is touching, and there are many examples out there of women who possess such kindness. Yet there are some who make it harder to respect because they lash out against what methods a man may try to show respect, such as opening a door for them. If a man cannot show such a simple act of kindness toward a girl, can we expect him to actually respect her later on? And if he does respect her for some reason, do we not think of him as either desperate or in need of something dramatic such as that? In other words, the men that fall for such women, do we not look at him as weak hearted, or do not at least his friends think so of him? How then can the people respect a woman who is so cruel to him?

Women are beautiful people in their nature, but when that inner beauty is corrupted, it is hard to give them the respect that should be theirs. I still hold faith in women, that they can be respected truly. After all, sometimes just the smile of one is enough to brighten a day that is going wrong. Since there are so many of these beautiful creatures, if there is a God, then he is wonderful just for that.

Sample Book Entry

A while ago, I mentioned the possibility of posting an excerpt from my story. I shall do just that. I'm contemplating a fictional account of a year at college. The format will be in journal and diary entries. This an entry from a guy named Adam, a freshman.

Thursday, September 10, 2009 (Adam)

It’s amazing how people wear masks and act different when you’re there than when you’re gone. I was sitting with some of the others at lunch and I was a bit disgusted by what I saw. Daniel was sitting with us for a while but then jumped tables to sit with his brother. After he left, everyone else was talking about how they didn’t care or like him that much. It’s only the 3^rd week of school but they acted like they’d disliked him for months. I admit he talks a lot, but isn’t much about him as about other things including how awesome his brothers are. I’m just shocked at how two-faced some people can be. When Daniel is around, they’re all okay to nice to him but after he leaves they bash him.

 I feel kinda sorry for the dude. I don’t see him as ever being a great friend but that is just wrong to be thinking you have friends but they’re not. It makes me wonder about what they think when I leave. I feel like I can’t really trust them whenever they say or appear nice because they could be doing the same to me. Sure it was mainly one of the guys and the others just merely chimed in or listened. Still! I think I’m gonna have to find some new friends to hang with.

Speaking of “friends,” I added today my 50^th from this school. I’m not sure how many will actually be real friends, but there’s something about seeing that friend request pop up. I think by having more “friends” on facebook, it makes me feel wanted. I know for me, if I add someone, I do want to potentially be real friends, but I also think people use facebook for connections to use them with no actual intent. One person I really hope wants to be my friend or more than a friend is Sarah. I was chatting with her earlier. Her first comment to me was about how much we had in common. I pray that’s a good sign. She seems like a real nice girl. In fact, she’s like my dream girl. So many features that I’ve dreamed about are there in her. She’s pretty, but I feel like I can actually talk to her and do stuff with her. That is way much more than my last date, who was only beautiful. I respected her, but there was no way that relationship could last. Either way, I hope I have a chance with Sarah.

Mutual Friends and Invitations

Friends are an important part of life. There’s a saying that “a friend is another self.” That seems to work. After all, friends are generally based off some common interest. In fact it could start off as, “Hey! You like that too? I thought I was the only one.” The problem people are having today is that, for some weird reason, they don’t think some of their friends are capable of being friends with their friends.

Just because your friendship with one group is based off one interest, doesn’t mean that another group can’t have a different or similar common base to be friends. For all you know, you can be that common base.

When I was little, I would go to a “friend’s” house and be playing with him. Then he’d get a call from another friend and send me home so he could go hang out with him. That was so messed up, and I knew it. Probably led to a few fights. If not that, then at least some anger that helped justify when there was a fight.

On the other hand, the whole thing could be that one just doesn’t think about the idea of having more than one group get together. It doesn’t need to be a birthday party for that to happen. We just need to start thinking, “Hey! That person is a mutual friend” or “I think these people can have fun together” and then suggest, “Can I invite this person?” Never underestimate the power of an invitation.

An invitation can go a long way. It’s one thing to have an open door. It’s another to actually invite someone in. Both can be methods of welcome, but only one has a lasting effect. By actually inviting someone, they can feel welcomed at that point and not feel like they are intruding. An invitation can be declined, but it tells that you are at least thinking of that person and trying to hang out.

By doing these, you save yourself from the regret of not hanging out with someone once they are gone. Some friendships dissolve by not having contact and therefore not keeping in touch with what you had in common. We only have so much time and it gets hard to try and hang out with everyone, but it gets easier when you are able to do stuff with more than one.

Dating

I find dating to be one of those interesting aspects of life today. There are so many ideas tossed around for this one action of interacting with another human being. Some say stay away from long distance. Others say date someone of your religion. Still others say look for certain characteristics. Pretty much every piece of advice has a reason, but not all of them are good. Dating then becomes a gigantic puzzle with extra pieces that don’t fit.

I can’t really say my views on dating have any more weight to them than the others, but I can say that they are based off my observations. Perhaps the part I find intriguing is how we view long distance relationships today.

Not too long ago, a couple would develop a relationship over a long distance without even seeing each other. The relationship would be based off writing letters. Today, we have access to so many methods of connecting, but now we can’t handle distances? That is certainly laughable. It’s like success in communication has destroyed communication. I still hold that it is possible to have a long distance relationship. We just need to have a better understanding of love.

 For the case of religion, it is a good step, however, you still need to be careful. Today, most people of a religion are hypocrites or don’t even care about their faith. Therefore, if you are looking for someone with similar core values, just a title means nothing. It’s more important to find someone who does walk the walk and treats you with respect and real love, not just sex.

A problem many people have today is having sex before marriage. It’s a pretty personal thing, yet it is being given out so freely now. The problem is that if it happens before marriage, there is no guarantee that he or she won’t leave afterwards. It’s more like you were just the toy rather than a human being. We need to learn how to say, “I love you” without sex. After all, sex is only a small part of a relationship and doesn’t last.

The idea of love has been corrupted over the years. Many people are thinking that love requires sex. That isn’t the case. Love is that self-sacrificing act of will that longs for the good of the other. True love can never be just an emotion because emotions never last. It’s that bond and will to stick with the other through even the bad times and not give up. It’s a bond that makes the other family, the kind that you can fight with all the time, but always care for them. It is like Alfred from the Dark Knight Rises, who does what he can to save Bruce, even if it means his Hatred in return.

My Plan on Updating this Blog

      When I opened this blog, my goal was for this to be where I posted my longer observations and thoughts, while my facebook page be for pictures and little quotes or observations. I still plan to keep it that way, however, my essays really come from my reaction to something I see. That means I can't keep a consistent schedule of posting a new essay. However, I do think I should be able to maintain having a a new one per week. If not, then at least once per month.
       In other news, thanks to all the readers. I hope that you enjoy my observations and simple method of philosophy and that you will spread the word about this. Also, I'm talking with a publisher about a book proposition I have. Perhaps I'll post a sample of it if I run out of ideas.

My Problems with Racism and Anti-Racism

                Racism is an issue. However, I think it’s been blown out of proportion on some sides. One thing you hear complained about is how black people seem to be the only ones suffering from “racism.” Some people point out that “racism” extends beyond blacks, but also whites, and Asians, and Hispanics, and pretty much anyone.

                The question is, does what makes something racist based off the intention behind it, or the word itself? What I’m thinking is that anything bad about racism stems from the intention. Most words have nothing wrong with them in themselves, but then become “racist.” I know some people get angry at being called, “black” and others hate being called, “African-American.” I think I agree more with the latter. Not everyone who’s black is from Africa. At the same time, by placing the word “African”, we are taking away from the idea of that person is “American” and probably has no connection or desire for Africa. We are giving them a different country or culture as if they are outsiders.

                Back to the original issue, what I think needs to happen, in order to fix racism, is to eliminate the “racist” status of most words. I have seen too many occasions where someone uses a term they did not know was “racist” and get devoured. The sad part is, that means there was no racism in the terms of insulting or meaning anything bad! Yet, that person begins to obtain those feelings because he or she was unjustly attacked and was “racist” towards. Yes! Racism is being caused by people who claim they want racism to stop! All because some group decided a word or symbol, which has nothing wrong in itself, is “racist”.

                People are refusing to talk to each other and examine their point of view. The funny thing is that some of these people are the ones who advocate “everything is relative.” If someone raises a confederate flag, he or she will be demonized quickly without any attempt to find out why. Most of the time I’ve seen it, it’s for Southern Pride, or Rebellion against the Federal government. After I looked through the civil war, I would agree that those are appropriate meanings.

                We tend to think that the civil war was fought just for slavery. That argument cannot hold water. There are too many holes and problems with that idea. Slavery was just part of it that has been upscaled. General Lee fought for his State, not for Slavery. It addressed whether or not States had the right to secede and Bill of Rights. Note that Delaware still had slaves after the war but fought for the North.

                People can argue that anyone who raises a confederate flag is not thinking, but I leaning towards they are the ones who are thinking further and deeper. We need to stop judging too quickly because we think something is offensive. I say the best method is for everyone to eliminate the “racism” of a word. We need to stop taking offense because someone said something, even when it wasn’t directed towards us. Note that a word that helps distinguish an individual should be something that celebrates his or her uniqueness. Otherwise we’d all be just the same not special at all. Technically, that is racism at its worse.

                Let us address the causes, not the symptoms. If we fail to cover all of the causes, then we will never be free of it. If the true evil of racism is the hatred behind it, then let's address the hatred, and not attack those who don't bear it.