I do not know where this idea came from, but ignoring someone completely when you are angry with him or her is not a civilized way of dealing with it. Yes, it is best to have some time apart to cool down, but that does no good if you brood over some problem without communicating it. You may have heard that people who fight grow closer together. That is because by arguing, you are at least communicating the problems instead of letting them multiply.
If you don’t communicate when you have a problem, you leave it to the other to try and deduce what is wrong. Even if he or she can tell that something is wrong, they are unlikely to figure out what that something was. This is especially the case when they don’t think or did not do anything wrong at all. However, if you refuse to talk about it, there’s little to no way for them to explain or correct a misunderstanding.
When you do have a problem with someone, the best thing to do is take a breather. When something makes you angry, it’s generally only for 15 minutes max and the reasons why you are still angry come into play. So it might not be just one problem but 20 small ones. Now, it’s not good to just say them out of the blue either. You should give some warning that you need to talk about something but you need a few moments to prepare. This might also allow the other person to examine the problem beforehand and think clearly instead of saying something stupid. When this is done, your discussions have a good chance of being more civilized.
With Peace and Love,
N. D. Moharo