My
Passionate Child,
I write to you to be careful
about the speed of your anger. Even in the world today, people get outraged
scarily fast. I can send out a message of less than 140 characters and the
whole internet can be in an uproar. This is not the way of perfection.
Consider those 140 characters.
They can state an opinion, but not the context nor explanation. In fact, the
outrage sometimes spreads even faster than someone can properly explain it.
This means immediate outrage might seem justified from the context you infer,
but it may not be true.
Getting angry quickly is a
horrible vice. It is how a mob gets created and various crimes get started. While
it is right to be angry about some things, it should always be under control.
Sometimes action is necessary, but you need all of the facts and still be
rational. When you get incredibly angry, you cannot be rational. This means you
cannot properly adhere to the universal code of morality, which centers on
perfect love. Instead, we are focused solely on our emotion, and we breed it.
When you are angry, you are hurt.
If you allow that to control your mind, then you will only cause pain. You
might think that following your heart is a good thing, but that’s how you
become an extremist where the result is death to others. You might consider
causing pain to be justified because you feel pain, but that’s not good for
anyone. In fact, it can only spread it because then they will feel pain and
then create more. Since pain is relative, you cannot distribute the just
amount. Instead justice requires patience and forgiveness. That is how bullying
can be stopped. That is how relationships can be saved.
There are many ways you can
destroy a relationship and one of those is uncontrolled passion. I can relate
how when I was dating, how often that speed of outrage threatened it from both
sides. I can recall how I was sick one time and she thought I had no love
because I didn’t offer to help with washing the dishes. Not only was it a
misunderstanding, it was a dangerous overreaction. Not only was my sickness ignored,
but so were all of the acts of love that I had showed her already. Anger
focuses on a very specific slice of a moment and then tries to find fuel to
burn from the past. Fire is a very apt description of anger. When it’s
controlled, it’s great, but uncontrolled is terrifying and deadly. The result is that you need the lifegiving water of love to stop it. Anger leads to Hatred and both are the result of selfishness. That is why true love is the cure.
I used to have trouble with my
anger as well. I got it under control by focusing on becoming sad instead of
angry. However, that isn’t enough. You also need to distract yourself until the
passion is gone. You need willpower to stay patient until you can find an
opportunity to get a proper explanation. To help, recall your love for the
person and use it to bestow the benefit of the doubt. Once you have a chance
for an explanation, actually ask if your interpretation is correct and then
listen to their explanation. Whether your impression was correct or not, the
explanation might show that your anger is unjustified. Even if they were wrong,
then you should act with love and politely explain why they are wrong. To do
this, recall my words about open minds and explain where in the logic he made a
mistake. When you do all of this, not only will your ability to love grow, but
you will also be a good model to show you are above the influence of the mob
mentality.
With Love,
N. D. Moharo
P. S. Again, hatred breeds more hatred. Recently there was a story about a man who was abused at work. The result is that he went out and shot many people. Unless we counter hatred with love, this will happen again and again. Since hatred focuses on your emotions, it breeds selfishness and opposes love. But when love is shown, it can extinguish the flames of anger. However, sometimes like a uncontrollable wildfire, even love cannot stop it. Instead, time and isolation is needed to allow the passion to die down. Then the waters of love can allow the forests of our hearts to flourish again.
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