Christmas Post 2016

To all,
    Now Christmas is of a season of love. Though if there is anything a dictionary can teach us, words can have multiple meanings. As your Christmas present, here are four meanings we may be using when we say we love someone.

1) We greatly care for someone.
2) We are greatly similar to someone.
3) We greatly admire someone.
4) We greatly desire being with someone.

I use these meanings to form the basis of Love Tanks, meaning these four definitions need to be satisfied for a person to feel loved.

Now to fill the Love Tanks, you must speak one of the Love Languages. You can do Acts of Service, Give Gifts, Spend Quality Time, Speak Words of Affirmation, or Physical Contact (like hugs). Since each person speaks different languages primarily, you need to do figure which one they receive best. My theory is that the language they want the most relates the the definition of love they feel they are lacking the most. Here's a chart from the perspective of receiving the love language

So this Chrsitmas, if you couldn't figure what to give someone, try another language because love is the best gift we can give.

Merry Christmas!

N. D. Moharo

Justice and Fairness

To the Afflicted,
    Some of today's society believes that Justice and Fairness are the same thing. However, even the usage of the phrase of a decision being "Fair and Just" indicates this is not the case. They are certainly related, but they are definitely different.
    An old and essential definition of Justice is rendering what is due. When we argue if someone's case is just, we argue whether or not they deserve something or not. When putting someone on trial, we are trying to argue what sentence they deserve to get. However, the question becomes "How to determine was is just?" That is where fairness comes into play, by which I argue to be "judging by the same standard for different people/things."
    An apt analogy for Justice and Fairness is that Justice is paying someone the correct price for an item while Fairness is using the same scale to determine the price for different people. If we measure some tea leaves and I pay some amount, but someone buying the exact same amount of the same tea after me is measured to be charged more, that would be considered unfair. Another example would be when someone cheats in a game, that's unfair because he's not playing by the same rules. One more example is a just decision would be to send criminals charged with the exact same crime to jail, but if the sentences are different lengths, then it can be considered unfair but not unjust depending on circumstances (for example two different judges, different levels of remorse, mercy, etc.).
    Why do we often consider unfairness to be the same as injustice? There are a few reasons. One is that we believe it is due to us to be judged on the same standard we perceive. This is common when it comes to siblings. If one child gets something, another may assume he should get it too because they are both children of the same parents (perceived standard), not necessarily because of something he did or need (actual standard). Another reason is that unfairness can lead to injustice. When someone cheats in a game, his opponent is not receiving his due respect in fair play and his due prize can be stolen from him.
    Now even though a standard is how we initially judge justice, we must be careful of the standards we use because they may be unjust. How is this possible? It's due to the nature of higher standards. Perhaps the best way of thinking of this is in terms of what justice is most often associated with; Law.
    According to a local law, punishment may be due to someone, but if that law contradicts a higher law, such as the constitution, then that would be opposed to real justice. This is important because lower laws often eliminate mercy and goodwill. I argued before that Mercy and Justice get along because Justice cares about order and balance. If someone is willing to forgive an injury, the relationship is put back into proper balance despite the perpetrator not paying restitution. Likewise, if a shop owner decides to give me a discount because of goodwill towards my father for some help he gave, it could be a fulfillment of justice. Of course, this idea of justice is dependent on using Love as the high standard.
    I argue that Love is the standard we should prioritize. I have written about the multiple definitions of love before, but in this case and pretty much every time I mention it, I'm referring to the caring definition by which "one wills the good of another." When you judge by using the standard of Love, then you judge based off the perfection of man that I argued for before in proving the universal moral code, and in doing so, you help advance the perfection of others. I like to think that that would be both fair and just.

With Love,

N. D. Moharo

 

Ideas for Innovation: Sewer Generated Power

Sorry for the late post. I had to take a family member to the hospital and been taking care of that. On the good news, the patient is good.


Now for the idea. Take the power generators used at dams and place them in the sewer. That way, the tons and tons of gallons of water going down the drain can potentially help power the city's electric needs. Of course strategic placement would be necessary, but I figure that even if it can't power all of the homes, it might be able to power all public needs such as street lamps and traffic lights.

The background for my idea of sewer generated power was a result of considering the necessity of dams. A lot of power is generated by dams, but they ruin ecosystems and sometimes cause home-displacement. However, if every city with a sewer system could use all the water that goes through it, would that be more than enough "clean energy"?

N. D. Moharo

Ideas for Innovation: The Compass Walking Stick

For the next month or so, instead of my usual philosophical pieces, I'll be sharing ideas I've had that I think we can use in the real world. I don't know if anyone has come up with them already, but if not, then these ideas are a contribution to society to use for the good of man and not to profit. In other words, I don't want to see people create a patent with these ideas (especially if you got the ideas from me). I would instead like to see people take these ideas for free and implement them for the good of the society.

The first idea is the Compass Walking Stick. I've heard that it's sometimes best to leave a blind man alone or not guide him somewhere because he may lose his orientation and sense of direction. The simple idea is to implement a compass-like device on the handle of the stick so that he can know which direction he is facing.

The tricky part is making it so the compass is touchable without erasing the position. If it's electronic, then maybe it can use an electric compass and then pop out the symbols of the directions in the proper place.

Now, while the goal is to make it so that blind people can use it, A simple design with a compass on the hilt for those who can see is good as well. In the city, it's quite easy to lose sense of direction, especially when emerging from a subway. At that point, even with a map, I had trouble identifying which direction I needed to go and my phone did not help due to the tall buildings surrounding me. I think this will benefit the elderly a great deal especially if they are using a walking stick anyways.

N. D. Moharo

Love and Appreciation

Dearly Beloved,

    When I wrote to you last about Love Tanks, I left out mention of Appreciation. It is debatable that this is a fifth Love Tank, but I eventually decided it was not. Even if it was a tank, I do not consider it as falling under a definition of love for a few reasons.

    First, it's always separate when we use it in language, We say "loved and appreciated" and not "love is appreciation." Second, Love requires two parties, but only one is required to act. Appreciation, on the other hand, indicates a return, meaning two parties need to act. Third reason is that it's relationship to the love languages and love tanks is unique. While it acts like a tank in that it can be drained, it can also drain all of the love tanks. It also is filled by any of the love languages, but which one is dependent on the situation.

    Something you must consider is an interesting paradox. It's good to give and receive appreciation, but bad to want it. The reason behind this is that the former can focus the attention on the other party in a good light, but the latter focuses on your self and can place the other party in a negative light, negatively impacting your ability to love. That negativity not only damages your relationships, but also drains your love tanks, making you depressed and lonely.

    Remember though that appreciation itself is good. The thing that is bad is the feeling of entitlement. If you think about it, it can be quite often that you perform an act of love with no expectation of a reward. Instead you act because you love, focusing solely on the receiving party. However, once the idea that you should be rewarded enters your head, you begin to take those acts of love and focus on yourself rather than your beloved. By transforming the acts of love into fuel for entitlement, you become bitter. This is true with all senses of entitlement. For the sake of your soul and happiness, you need to drop the selfish-feeding desires of entitlement and just let them happen or not.

    Now I know this is difficult, especially for me. When there is injustice or abuse of rights, I become very angry or depressed. However, I believe it is helpful to start dismantling your ideas of entitlement one by one, hopefully making it to just the core rights, things you need in order to become a better human being. If you can go beyond that, your ability to forgive will be divine.

    Whether you believe or not, actually practicing Christians have an advantage here. This is because they have a perfect model as a result of their beliefs. God should be entitled to praise, honor, and respect, but instead people mocked, scoffed, and executed him in an excruciating manner. Yet, instead of condemning these people, God spoke words of forgiveness and proceeded to suffer and die for them. When you believe that, it should have a profound impact on your senses of entitlement.

    If you examine it even further, even though Jesus displayed no sense of entitlement, he still fought for the rights of others and rebuked their oppressors. The point is that he was not selfish, but loving, according to Christian beliefs. When you believe all of those things, there is no greater role model of love.

With Love,

N. D. Moharo

Love Languages Revisted: The Love Tanks

Love Languages Revisited

My loved child,

               I have written to you about love languages before. Taking from what I have written on the various definitions of love, perhaps we can understand the nature of love languages even better. To recap, the five love languages are Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Gift Giving, Quality Time, and Acts of Service. I gave four definitions of love but here I will describe them in terms of feeling loved. When we say we feel loved, we can mean that we feel Cared For, Liked, Admired, or Wanted. Each of the Love Languages address these accordingly

               You may have noticed that there is a mismatch of numbers, but that is okay. What I have figured is that there is some overlap. Some languages will address the same feeling, and a language can address multiple feelings. However, in order to have a full “Love Tank,” you need to have all four addressed.

               Perhaps the first thing we should do is establish that you have four love tanks, but one set and probably only one primary tank by which you judge if you are loved or not. I say four because it’s not the Love Languages themselves are not the tanks, but the fuel, if we are thinking like gas tanks. The tanks are the four ways we feel loved. However, due to the unique nature of humanity, the size of each tank is most likely not the same. As a result, three out of four can be filled, but the primary tank can account for over half, meaning you still won’t feel loved. On the other hand, it also means that it does not take much to fill the others, and you do that with different Love Languages.

               To feel like we are cared for, the primary fuel is Acts of Service. The secondary fuel is Gift Giving. Quality Time and Physical Touch are wildcards depending on the relationship. A child playing with his mother might feel cared for, but a child playing with friends will likely not have that feeling. Gift Giving is also a wildcard, but for the reason that if the gift is something we really desire, then we feel like they care about us.

               To feel like we are admired, the primary fuel is either Words of Affirmation or Gift Giving. The secondary fuel is Quality Time or Physical Touch. They are secondary because we can acknowledge that one or the other will fill the respective tank, but it most likely won’t fill much.

To feel like we are wanted, the primary fuel is either Quality Time or Physical Touch. A secondary fuel is Words of Affirmation. I make it secondary because we I consider Gift Giving a wildcard, because I can only think of it applying in romance. However, even in romance, the gift will probably fuel Admiration more, even if the reason for the gift is desire. On the other hand, depending on the gift, it can also convey being wanted.

               For feeling liked, pretty much everything covers this because the word is a bit broad. Not only can it mean desired, but also admired and similar. However, since we cover the other too, here will just take the Similar aspect, saying that we feel we belong. As a result then the primary fuels are Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and whatever Love Language the recipient primarily uses.

 

After looking at this chart interesting things we can see after looking at the chart. First is you can understand why Hugs/Kisses and Gifts are popular since they are the easiest to do and can potentially fill every tank. Of course, in reality, some people don’t need gifts and some people don’t want to be touched. However, according to the chart, Quality Time is the best in terms of coverage and degree, though how you go about it is still important. At the same time, Words of Affirmation do a great job of making someone feel liked no matter the definition.

The second interesting thing is the effect of romance on creating wildcards. This perhaps is one of the main reasons why people desire romance so much and attribute it to love, even though friendship is arguably the best example of true love. It makes Gift Giving able to convey that you are desired. It can make us assume that we are cared for. It gives us a meaning of belonging and that someone admires us. Friendship, of course, can and does cover all four, but perhaps finding that level of friendship is too difficult for some and it doesn’t cover the sexual appetite.

I hope this helps you, my child, in understanding the complex nature of love as well as how to make others feel loved. However, you must remember that just as these languages can make a person feel loved, they can also do the opposite and cause great harm. Take care to use this knowledge to promote love and you will be on your way to becoming a saint.

With Love,

N. D. Moharo

The Definitions of Love and Love Paradox

News update: I am writing a book collecting and organizing various essays and letters I have written over the years. To be fair, it's been mostly complete for about 3 months now and I am currently just doing the polishing process as well as collecting opinions before I publish it. The project started while I was writing the series on True Love and I realized I would like to make it easier for my children to read what I have written. The result was that many of the letters I have published have been slightly modified versions of letters I have written to my children for this book, including what I'm sharing with you now. 

Dearly Beloved,

I often preach that True Love is an act of the will. The primary definition I use is “Love is to will the good of another.” I like the definition as it covers action, choice, desire, mind above emotion, and selflessness. However, one more definition is “Love is a great admiration of something.” Similarly, love can also mean “a strong like of something.” In addition, another definition some people love the most is “Love is a great desire to be united to something.”

If you study language, you may find what are called homonyms, “words with same spelling and pronunciation, but different meanings.” Some are completely unrelated such as a “bat” being a flying mammal or an object to play baseball with. However, many words are derived from the original word. In fact, when the connotation becomes the definition, it goes through this process. Love is one of these words.

Consider the first and second definitions. If you greatly admire something, it means you are more likely act on behalf of it. Consider a priceless jewel. If you don’t care about jewels, you’ll simply toss it away. If you greatly admire jewels, then you’ll take care of it. Same applies to people. If you greatly admire people, you will even perform some sort of sacrifice for their benefit.

Now consider the second and third definitions. You tend to greatly admire something you strongly like. Then take that “like” is derived from the same word which means “similar.” You like things that are similar to yourself or who you want to be.

Next up is the third and fourth definitions. A synonym for like is “desire” so naturally you can see how they link. When we think of desires, we tend to think of them as uncontrollable passions. And that is how you get the same word meaning an act of the will to meaning an act of passion. Is this believable? Certainly as we do this with language all the time. Words “evolve” as long as there is something to link it to the older meaning, including sarcasm. After all, antonyms can swap meanings just as “awful” and “awesome” did. 

If you look up synonyms for “love,” you will find “passion” among them. This is what I meant by “Love is a great desire to be united to something.” This is the emotional definition of love that many people love. You want something so much that you can’t imagine being without it. This is the explanation for what I consider the Love Paradox. You love someone so much that you want to be with them, but at the same time, you want him/her to be happy, even if that means he/she is not with you.

Now there is nothing wrong with any of these definitions. The biggest point I would like to make is of all of them, the first is the most pure and admirable. That is the one that makes use better people and is the secret to morality. The key here is that it’s the only one that works perfectly with humility, service, and every other virtue. The other definitions open the door to being selfish and therefore conflict and tragedy. As long as they are bounded by the first definition, they are fine. However, you generally cannot have all of them and therefore only the first is essential.

Consider what it means when you have the others, but not the first. Perhaps the best example is a teenage boy who tells a girl he loves her so in order to have sex. He might greatly admire her, but if it’s only her beauty he admires, he’ll dump her when he finds someone else he considers more beautiful. He might hold a lot of things in common with her, but that is very fickle especially for teenagers. Even if they maintain common interests, the importance of them will change as life changes. Lastly, he certainly wants to be united with her, but it’s to satisfy himself.

The boy is speaking the truth, but he doesn’t care for the girl. He doesn’t want what is best for her. He only cares about himself and heartbreak is going to happen. It’s often the case that a couple will have sex only to part that night. The common scenario is the girl is hoping he means the first definition along with the others, but if a guy can’t wait until marriage for sex, it’s most likely he doesn’t mean he cares. If anything, it shows he doesn’t have the willpower to make many sacrifices for her.

My hope is that by showing you this example, you may see that selfishness produces pain, sadness, and ultimately victims. Let the first definition rule your life so that you may become a great hero. When you abide by the pure definition of love, you may recognize when it is lacking and therefore be able to avoid the unnecessary heartache. That is my wish, because I do indeed care for you.

With Love,

N. D. Moharo