Love is Fun

To the Lonely,
    Can love be fun? Yes. It's called Friendship. Friendship is amazing in that it can be the highest form of love, even higher than marital sexual love. Since it has no relationship to sex, it's free to be between genders. The only barrier to this is our sex-obsessed culture.
    A friend is another self but he's not a perfect copy. In fact, you can disagree on most things, but there is a mutual respect and care. A good friend is one who willingly desires what is best for you. If that sounds like the definition of love I constantly throw out, that's because it is with one added factor. Friendship is two people loving each other according to this pure definition.
    A friend is one who desires for you to become the best you can be, and he'll do what he can to help you. This also means that a good friend will challenge you, but he will also celebrate with you in good times, and mourn with you during the bad times.
    I tell you this to show that commitment to the Religion of True Love does not entail misery. In fact, hanging out and having a good time with friends is almost a requirement. Not only does it soothe your soul, but it increases the bond between you and your friend, making you even more capable to love. You can watch movies, play video games, have a good laugh, etc. As long as nothing you do attacks your love for your neighbor, you can do many things and have fun. When both friends are committed to the Religion of True Love, then it can be one of the greatest treasures on earth. The only thing that can destroy such a good friendship is the poison of selfishness.

    Friendship is a beautiful thing as I've praised before. However, I've noticed that our culture has had trouble with helping people understand it. Having 1000 decent friends is not nearly as valuable as 1 good friend. In fact, it's very difficult to have such great love for more than 4 friends. You can have 1000 friends, but you probably will never have the deep relationship for more than 4 at a time, and that's okay. Another thing is that I've noticed in a few TV shows where they take a great friendship and make it sexual as if that is the goal and perfection. That is absolutely not the case. In fact, it can detract from it. Sex is an act of passion, but if you recall something I also constantly write about is that Love is an act of the will.  Even when you are feeling hurt and angry at someone, love is something you can choose to do and that makes it the best thing in the world. It is influenced by the heart, but even when your heart doubts, your brain can prevent you from committing grievous acts that only cause harm.

     An example of this is one time my wife and I were both feeling hurt. Something happened and we were both upset with each other. We did not want to be near or touch each other, but I knew this would only hurt our love. I knew that we needed to hug and talk, despite my heart saying no. However, my brain won with its argument that our love needed to be taken care of or it would be injured. The result is that we actually reached peace within 2 minutes versus a whole day of sulking with broken hearts.  This also resulted in our love growing for each other rather than being damaged. Misunderstandings happen a lot, but love always seeks reconciliation as soon as possible, despite the protests of a sensitive heart. Friendship is a mutual love and it is fantastic!

With Love,

N. D. Moharo

    

To Grow in Love

To Those Who Desire Perfection,

     I have written that the perfection of mankind is to truly love. I've also written long before that the phrase "Be a Man" means to "Be a Hero". There are no greater heroes than those who act out of love. These are the heroes that everyone benefits from. Even those who live by doing wicked deeds depend on these heroes existing. In fact, the only way the world could ever be perfect is if it embraces the message of true love rather than corrupting it. Of course, even if we are to recognize acts of love, how do we grow in it so as to become heroes?

    The answer to that lies in virtues. I think the word virtue contains the Latin word for "man" because of this connection. Of course, many cultures have their own set of virtues and some are directly opposed to each other. However, I do believe we can identify a global set of virtues and the key is true love. I will say it again that "True love is putting another's deeds before your own." This is important in helping know what is a virtue and what is not in order to not be conflicted. When your conflict is gone, you end up with internal peace, bliss, and perfection. It is a tough battle because we have been preached the message of selfishness from birth. But we do see people who have obtained that joy, and so we know it is possible.

     A helpful start and proof of concept for how love improves our lives is the 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, which I covered in how to recover from a spat. Something to know is that when someone's "love tank" reaches the high numbers, they are more joyful and perform many acts of love themselves. I recall waking up one morning, finding my mother prepared something for my day, and I no longer minded those bad drivers who cut me off on my commute. As yes, patience is an act of love since love is one of the three keys to dealing with impatience. 

  

    I do need to make one note, and it appears worldwide in some form or another. The Golden Rule is "Do unto others as you will have them do unto you." I consider this slightly better than the Confucian way of "Refraining from doing unto others what you would not want for them to do to you." This is because the former indicates to act rather than refrain. This promotes acts of love and societal growth, but the latter can let society decline. Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because self-love is important to have. The concept of love grows with humility, but not with self-hatred. When you don't love yourself the amount proper, you constantly leave your love tank at empty, meaning you have no motivation to love others as well. So yes, I encourage you to take care of yourself, take pride in your work, and have a healthy self-esteem, but never at the expense of other people. That is the difference between self-love and selfishness. In fact, the goal of those things should be to assist you in helping others.

    Back to the nature of virtues, it has been claimed that Selfishness is the source of all sins. So the complete opposite and "Mother of all Virtues" is Love. Not only is it the key to virtues, it's a virtue itself. You can create a good habit of doing everything with love so that it is how you are known. Here are some examples of other virtues: Respect, Honesty, Kindness, Justice, Almsgiving, Fidelity, Helpfulness, Hopefulness, Joy for Neighbor's success, Sympathy during Neighbor's misfortune, Merciful, and Forgiving. 

    A very important virtue is the Worship of Pure Goodness. The word worship may have negative connotations today, and perhaps deserves it, but that's because the things we worship in daily life are not what is meant to be worshiped. Sex is a good thing in itself, but there are people who will fight, sacrifice, and speak words of hatred in defense of their pursuit of sexual pleasure in all things. The same goes with money and entertainment. They are good things, but only in their proper places. Money makes it easier to bargain and trade. Entertainment helps soothe the soul. But when these things are brought out of proportion, they bring about suffering everywhere. We may not recognize the suffering it causes us, but the biggest effect is that it hurts our ability to love.

    Here are some vices that hinder our love for others: Disrespect, Dishonesty, Envy, Cheating, Infidelity, Corruption, Greed, Gluttony, Lust, Apathy, Rage, Hatred, Censorship (the evil kind, not the proper one). All of these increase our own selfish desires at the expense of others. Even if another person is not directly involved, we are exalting ourselves to be above what is good. This actually only creates an imbalance in ourselves, which is a sign of us moving away from perfection.

    This is the perfect man: He is honest and respectful. He rejoices in the good while disdaining evil. He shows Mercy and Compassion to those who need it. He rejoices in the fortune of his neighbor and mourns when misfortune falls upon his neighbor. He learns in order to perfect himself. He is hard-working and perseveres through difficulty. He is courageous and wise. Where there is despair, he hopes and prays. Everything he does is with love. This is a hero worth imitating.

With Love,

N. D. Moharo

P. S. The phrase was "Pride is the queen of all vices." However, I've found the proper understanding of this, and helps explain why it's okay to take pride in your work, is the word "Selfishness." The idea is that an excess of self-love that takes its pleasure even at the expense of someone else is the end goal of all sins. 

True Love

To those searching for love,
    One of society's greatest lies is that True Love is something sexual. Far from the truth. I can attest that True Love exists. I can testify that it can be at first sight, or better yet, not even have to wait for first sight. Let me tell you about True Love and how great it is.
    True Love requires at least 2 people, but only 1 has to give. This is because True Love gives and receives, but the joy it receives is from giving. This is True Love:

• A mother dreaming about her child's future while caressing the womb he occupies
• A father who works hard so that his family will not starve
• A poor man giving his only blanket to a helpless and abandoned baby
• A soldier going to war in order that his country may stay free
• A mother who cries after being told words of hatred by her child, but still cares for her children.
• A man who forgives his brother of his sins.
• A friend who gives up his life so that someone else may live.

    True Love does not care if we are worthy. It cares that we exist. True Love is Godliness and it is the source of all that is good. It is the True and Perfect Religion. Anything that hinders you from being able to love is an evil.

    I do not care what you have done. I do not even need to know you. But I can show you an act of True Love by evangelizing it to you. I have given you many examples so that you may be able to distinguish it from the world's corruption. When you really know what True Love is, free from the lies of religions and societies whose god is money, power, or pride, you can become truly happy. This is because the Perfection and Purpose of Mankind is to Love. Know this: You are Loved.

With Love,

N. D. Moharo

More examples:

• The neighbor who weeps with you in time of mourning
• The friend who rejoices you won even when he lost
• The religious man who prays for those who hate him
• The man who runs into a burning building to save a child
• The stranger who performs emergency CPR
• The friend who loans without demanding interest
•  Love is “Willing the good of the other,”
• “Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours”
• Love desires what is best for someone,

Nature of Witches

Instead of me sharing my new post this week, I want direct your attention to J. D. Nyle's post about witches and why they would be considered evil by definition.

To be fair, I think the original definition of a witch is a woman who practiced magic in which the evil comes from magic being evil. It's probably more of a case that not all witches start of wanting to become evil, but since magic is evil, it naturally corrupts and turns them into evil witches.

In contrast to that, if we were to consider delving deeper into the nature of witches, I'd follow the line of reasoning that Nyle shows. I think the idea about the nature of a witch being complete opposite of that of a virtuous woman is a good one.

If you don't trust the hyperlinks, here's the link in plain text: http://neostrikershining.blogspot.com/2016/04/the-nature-of-witches.html

While you're at that blog site, check out his full novel for Neostriker: Shining

On Bullying

To the Victims,

    Our society is in a nasty situation: we are filled with bullies, and society is multiplying them rather than depleting them. You may think that societal pressure and TV shows that villainize bullies would help, but they actually make things worse. When I was in college, I noticed that those who watched the Disney Channel were often the bullies. If you watch the CW network, that’s not any better. I pondered why, as I recall the shows on there would condemn bullying. Now I realize they actually promoted bullying. They condemned one form of bullying, only to advocate another.

    What is this other form of bullying? It's what adults practice, though it's common for the female youth to do so as well. Instead of the stereotypical physical bullying often done by boys, it's emotional and psychological. While a boy may physically threaten you for lunch money, a girl would try to try to destroy your friendships and destroy your self-esteem by humiliating you. I actually had a female teacher who taught at an all-girls school and an all-boys school and she said she preferred the boys to girls for a similar reason. Her analysis was “Boys fight to prove a point, girls fight to destroy each other.” While each gender is certainly capable of doing the other method of bullying, the typical practice is usually limited to what I described. This is a bit of a stretch, but it may actually be related to the TV shows each gender typically watches.

   The Disney Channel has mostly been female-centric for a while now, so little girls would be the type most likely to watch and be indoctrinated with the emotional bullying. Boys have been stereotyped into watching action cartoons, so they see the more forceful form of bullying instead. So if a girl instead watches the more physical shows that boys typically see, perhaps she'll be more likely a physical bully than an emotional one. Likewise, if boys are forced to become more feminine, then they may more likely become emotional bullies by the time they are adults.

    Now this still doesn't make sense. I made a claim earlier that society isn't helping despite pressure. Well, here's the irony. TV ads and magazines verbally claim that bullying is evil, but they often engage in bullying tactics such as blackmail or suing in order to get what they want, which means they are bullies. Children perform actions mostly based off the results they see, not based off what they hear. So when a child sees that his father gets his way when he raises his voice and throws a fit, he's going to do the same. Just like if they see an adult, who is "cool", smoking a cigarette, he'll likely smoke as well (hence why smoking was banned on TV for decades in the US as well as many other things. This is also why censorship is a good thing when it's practiced properly).

    Perhaps I should give some examples of everyday bullying. It’s so bad, that the purpose of occupations has been completely undermined. Politicians and Lawyers often make their living by bullying others. This is WRONG! Politicians are supposed to reconcile people, not break them apart. Lawyers are supposed to defend the afflicted, not create them. Free speech is supposed to promote listening to everyone’s concerns, not to heckle or boo someone off stage. The world is full of bullies and we must convert that which has been turned evil back to good.

    There's also a second reason for the abundance of bullying, and that's because of a lack of empathy, though not in the way you might be thinking. What I mean is that even when adults condemn bullying in the schools, they don't help. By help, I don't mean putting a stop to the bullying but rather teaching kids how to properly handle them. As a result, the only advice children get is from the TV shows I mentioned before. The problem expands in that the TV shows are crafted to try to make the children feel good, which often results in the bullies being bullied. This is because we apparently don't care about those who are bullied when we have been bullied ourselves. As least, that's what I've noticed from adults. When I was being bullied on the psychological front, the deans had no helpful advice and would often just stick to their rules where, as long as there was no physical bullying, they would do nothing and give no helpful advice. All I can recall them saying is something along the lines of "You need to figure it out" or "You need to grow up." I think one did mention something about bullies were often bullied themselves, though he didn't go into the details like I have about that.

    This lack of help about how to stop bullying could be claimed as one of the great crimes of inaction by adults, as kids don't grow out of bullying, they grow into bullying. And as these kids, who don't know how to handle bullies, become adults, they cannot help their children either. But enough about describing the cause. Let me offer the solution.

    This might not be something you want to hear, but the answer is the cliché "Forgive". Yes, that thing that Christians often preach about is how we stop bullying. It may not stop your immediate bullying problem, but it'll lay the foundation for destroying it in the future. When you realize that bullies are those who were previously bullied but didn't know how to properly cope, you find that it's because they are seeking "fairness" which they think is Justice. As I previously mentioned, Mercy helps puts things back in order, which is true Justice. The act of mercy here is to forgive. This may not fix the bully, but it will at least fix you. When you forgive, the bully may be done issuing his "revenge on society" or may continue, but your scars will heal. Because if your wounds stay open, you will start searching for revenge out of envy and carry it out until your thirst is quenched, and revenge is never sated except by forgiveness and true Justice.

With Love,

N. D. Moharo

P.S. Another observation is that bullies actually often think of themselves in their victims’ shoes. A common thought would be “I’ve had it worse. He hasn’t had enough yet.” This may often come from envy and it’s a hint about how to distinguish Bullying from Teasing even though they may appear the same. Bullying is rooted in malice, envy, or contempt, but Teasing comes from love or friendship.

Why English (and other languages) are so hard to study

To the Language Students,
    English is perhaps one of the most difficult languages to study in the world. Why is that? Well, it's a big convulsive mess because of many things. You may have heard of the interesting history of the development of the English Language and how it is German based with French influences. Here is a brief summary as I learned in college.
    First you have the original inhabitants of England. They have their Germanic roots (I think these were the Anglos and hence how England got its name as "Land of Anglos"). Then Rome comes and establishes a brief influence in the region. After the Romans, the Germanic tribes from Europe come and conquer (possibly the Saxons? Hence you get Anglo-Saxon). It's from the Vikings that we have the "count in quantities of 12" system also known as "base-12". That's why we have words like dozen and how we have separate words for 12 numbers before your fall into the more Roman pattern of base-10. Why Roman again? Because England was then conquered by the Normans who inhabited Northern France. These people became the rulers but didn't want to contaminate their "noble language" with that of the common folk. This leads to English having a proper, French-derived word set and an Germanic-derived vulgar set. Tom Scott briefly covers this in his own video about why you swear in Anglo-Saxon. Next is even more Roman influence as you have the Renaissance. After that, you move towards Modern English where there's a global influence as English adopts words from many different languages.
   However, the development history as I described is just one aspect of how the Language became so confusing. A large part of the blame stems from those who have inherited the language over generations and failed to practice proper English. Now my English skills are not great either, but I do also get frustrated by inconsistent practices that are starting to become normal. For example, the use of the for "they" for third-person singular annoys me. "10 items or less" instead of "fewer" is another annoying point as this makes it confusing how to properly use the two ("less" is for what you cannot count such as "water", but "fewer" is for something you can count, such as "items"). So when something like my latter example becomes common, it's no wonder that learning the language becomes a tedious task.

N. D. Moharo

How is Mercy Just?

To Those Who Desire Justice,
    The idea of Mercy can be a very confusing thing. When we often think of Mercy in terms of Justice, we might perceive that Mercy avoids Justice. When you get into religion, you may even hear the concept of a God who is Equally Merciful and Just. How can this be?
    I actually only recently figured out a solution to this paradox today (28th of February) and the best way to explain it is to better focus once more on a little short story written by J. D. Nyle. His story of the Rapist Knight is the best example of Mercy and how Justice actually needs it. I suggest you read it before reading my thoughts on it.





    The story asserts that Rape is evil and even places it as a crime punishable by death. A knight is caught in the act and shows no form of remorse for his actions. In fact, he even tries to say it's no big deal as she is a peasant girl. He is given the Death Sentence with proper comments that "If the warriors who are to protect my land are evil, what need does another army need attack us?" The Knight is confirmed to be wicked. However, that is only beginning of the story.
    The prince intercedes for the knight, confirming his father's words about evil, but responding that he sees potential for the evil to be corrected far greater than the death sentence. His proposal is that the knight become a slave for the family he had wronged with the possibility of regaining his rank. We may consider this idea to be evil but the prince's words explain his idea. He says to the father of the family about the death of the knight: "But what good will it do you? It is quick and simple, but it will not take away the pain. He is a human being like yourself and so I implore you to have mercy. His life is yours to deal with. Please respect it as a human life.” The prince acknowledges that the scar of the crime cannot be satiated with just one man's death. The effects would still be there. He proposes that by servitude, this scar may be healed as well.
     When the father of the family decides to join in the prince's act of mercy, we read on to see the knight does change. He serves the family, begins to respect them, mourns his action toward the maiden, and actually grows to love her and the daughter who is borne, keeping all of these beyond his time of sentenced servitude. The Power of Mercy is that it can restore balance and therefore be True Justice.

    Consider what it would mean if the knight had died. The scar of being raped would still linger on the maiden. The knight would have died as a fallen knight. The family would have a daughter who was a result of rape and no father. Through the prince, father, and also the maiden's acts of mercy, the evils were corrected one by one, replaced with virtue. The knight previously had no respect for the maiden and now did. The knight wronged the people he was supposed to protect and serve willingly and now he does. The knight committed an act of selfishness but now properly loves the maiden. The daughter, who would have been borne without a father, now has a father who loves her. The knight who had dishonored himself now had earned true honor.

    As I mentioned before in my essay about Equality, Justice is the true honorable desire and is described as "Scales of Justice" in which we want balance. The Death Penalty was certainly the acceptable law in the case, but the true fulfillment of the law was servitude. Without Mercy, there would still be an imbalance, but through Mercy, there is balance and perfection. This is what we need in our lives and this is why Justice and Mercy go together.

With Love,

N. D. Moharo