Changes in Operation

Hello Everyone,
    For almost two years (in October), I've tried to maintain this blog on average at least once a week. However, a big change is happening in my life and I'm no longer certain that I can continue at that pace. I do plan to continue updating this blog, but it will more likely be on a bi-weekly basis instead of once per week. If you wish to know when a post is uploaded, you can like my Facebook page and be notified that way. I may occasionally still have quotes or ideas to post on the Facebook page. Thank you for your support and I hope it will continue as I deal with this major change.

Sincerely,

N. D. Moharo

Until my next post, which might be next week or the week after, consider this quote: "The person who serves is the person who acknowledges the humanity of others."

Theory on Phobias

It has been said that people fear what they do not know. I hold that is only partially true. It may be a tendency but I believe there is a rational about why it can apply. Now my comments are merely observations and a theory itself. I have no science to prove this is actually the case, only experience. Alas, I should at least say what my theory is.

                A “phobia” is defined as a strong fear or dislike: an irrational or very powerful fear and dislike of something such as spiders or confined spaces. My theory hinges on the idea of irrationality. I actually believe there is a level of rationality that appears to have been taken out of proportion. For instance I’m afraid of heights, so I can’t go on a Ferris wheel or a roller coaster. However, when I convinced myself to try and go on a Ferris wheel, I noticed when the fear struck me. I found out at what height I could not stand going past; it was the height where I was afraid of falling from. The fear of heights is not so much of the height as it is of the potential fall. When someone looks down, they become more aware of the potential fall. That’s why you tell someone “Don’t look down!” As long as the idea of the fall is not in his head, your friend might be able to handle the height.

                The reason for a strong fear to exist is a rational that became extreme. Another way of saying it is the phobia exists because of a real fear that happens to be the primary association of something. Some people might think a Ferris wheel just gives you a nice view. Some associate it with a date. Others like me associate it as something that is liable to break down and have you either stuck for a few hours or break apart, sending you for a long fall. Movies might be the culprit for this rational, but if that is the first time you’ve seen a Ferris wheel, especially as a little kid, that is how you are going to associate it for a long time. The reason why going through it a second time could cure the phobia is because you edit the primary association to that you will not fall or maybe to one of the other things I mentioned not just through rational, but through emotion.

                Now for another context. One person can be afraid of snakes and spiders, but be okay with frogs and mushrooms. All could be poisonous and deadly, but a lot of people don’t consider the typical frog to be dangerous. They might first think of Kermit the muppet, the princess and the frog story, or even biology class, but not likely that they will attack or kill you. So there is rational and emotion does amplify it, but there is rational nonetheless. Should we cure ourselves of these? Maybe if it keeps you from being able to function in life or be respectful to others. Otherwise, it does not matter too much, especially when you realize why they are. When you learn why they exist, you might actually develop more respect and considerateness for others. For example, someone might hate belts because they associate belts with abuse.

                One last point I have is to address what I meant in the beginning. Most people in their nature do not fear what they do not know. This is proven by the fact that we are generally curious as children. As children, we don’t understand the concept of danger so much and that’s why we need parents. They tell us what they know to be dangerous and try to keep us safe. However, the parents can also be the ones who establish our primary associations with things such as spiders by telling us that they can kill us and reinforcing it. As a result, as we grow older, we grow to be more cautious about things we don’t understand. 

Sexual Objectivity and How to Fight It

Dear Women,

                You are your own enemy when it comes to gender equality. I know that women can think as dirty as men when it comes to sexually objectifying the other gender. Just go to a college campus and listen to what the freshmen girls say and it’s obvious. However, we don’t hear nearly as much about men being sexual objects as much as women. Besides the people who refuse to believe that is the case, I can offer you a good reason why you don’t hear about it.

                Believe it or not, women, men dress better than you. It sounds wrong, but it’s true. Think about what it means for a man to dress up. He has a full suit or at least a long pair of pants and a long sleeved shirt. Only his head and maybe his hands are showing. Now think about women and what it means for them to dress nicely. It’s rare to hear about a modest dress being praised. In fact, most outfits showcased at events like the Academy Awards are sexual teases. At least some skin needs to be shown whether it is the full back, the upper half of her breasts, an entire leg if not most of it, and maybe some midriff, not to mention that they tend to be some combination of the above.  

                Women, you cannot demand that men stop thinking about you sexually if you continue to dress in ways that are sexually tempting. That includes wearing pants or shorts that actually reach your knees and not just your upper thigh. If you truly consider yourself to be equal to men, which you should, then why is it that men can handle the summer heat with modest shorts and a regular t-shirt, but women can’t? Again, why can men play tennis with the same style, but women need an incredibly short skirt or shorts? Why is it the case that the whole “It’s hot outside” argument comes from the gender that seems to get cold so easily? I find it incredibly ironic that attempts from the men to get girls to dress modestly is met with hostility from women.

If you are not the kind of woman described above but instead the modest one, I applaud you. In fact, I find that an important quality in the kind of woman I want to date. To dress modestly allows men to see a respect you have for yourself. It is so much easier to respect a woman physically and mentally who dresses modestly than a woman whose entire legs and perhaps underwear show as soon as she sits down. By the way, the latter is not business appropriate; it’s playboy/prostitute appropriate. Also, I find it negative in a relationship. Not only would I not want you to tempt me and distract me from what’s important, I don’t want you tempting other guys. It only increases the probability of sexual harassment and bad situations.  

                So please! Stop undermining your causes. If you want men to not see you as sexual objects, then stop dressing and acting like sexual objects. If you want men to treat you right, then you need to stop undermining their efforts. Sexual objectivity will always exist in mainstream culture as long as women continue to support immodest outfits. That’s the truth so don’t believe any lies that tell you otherwise. Let’s do our part to curb the sexual objectivity of women.

Sincerely,

N. D. Moharo

P.S.  This is only one but a very important step. As long as women are portrayed sexually in commercials like Carl’s Jr., in movies, and magazines, it will still exist. But if anything, this will help the individual woman who does take this advice. Sexual harassment may not be completely gone, but it will limit it. When you meet new people, the way you dress will lead to how they will treat you.