Evils of Lecturing

                It’s a shame that someone could go through life for over 50 years, and yet never really learn how to talk to a person. Yes, I mean parents are guilty of this. Pretty much we all are, but I think parents are the ones who need to learn it the most.

                My complaint: the lecturing. When we were kids, lectures were necessary. But even then, we knew that there was something wrong with that format. It always put us off. It was completely one-sided and there was no concern for our defense.  Lectures are probably the main reason why kids feel like their parents don’t understand them. Can you blame them? If they are never given a chance to defend themselves, how can they expect parents to understand what they are going through?

                Perhaps even worse is when the lecturing continues past childhood. By the time one is a teen, he is supposed to be able to reason. This means teenagers should have the capacity to converse. This is even more true after they become adults. Why spend all that money for a child’s education if you don’t give them the chance to use it? When children become adults, lectures are evil!

                One reason why lectures are wrong, is because it’s insulting. Parents cannot tell their kids to grow up while they are still young and then treat them like children when they grow up. Lectures are a thing of childhood because they were necessary then. But once that child has grown up, you can debate or have a good discussion.

                I cannot tell what is the right way of talking about something. I’m still learning myself. I just know that our current method needs to be fixed and I do have some suggestions. First of all, lay off the interrogation questions. Forcing someone to speak by saying something like, “Tell me what’s going on,” is not okay. Sometimes it might be appropriate, but never for casual conversation. The question I really hate being asked is, “Where are you from?” If this comes from a stranger, I don’t want to tell him something personal. I especially don’t want the predictable follow up questions if you are not from around there. At that point, both are robots. The one being asked is repeating what he probably told over a hundred people. The Interrogator, which is very accurate a term, is asking the same questions, generally in the same order.

                A proper conversation has it where facts are stated, but not necessarily asked for. This might seem non sequitor, but it’s true. The good conversations that get people talking are pointing out something and then talking about it. If you read articles online about talking to some cute girl in the store, they always say, “Look for something and make a comment about it.” Those simple phrases can be, “Man! This soup is good!” or even a question that doesn’t go personal like, “I’m curious about this soup, have you tried it?” These supposedly random topics can actually bring out personal details, but the other person is not going to feel uncomfortable, and that is perhaps the most important part of having a discussion. 

Why I Like Autumn

Autumn is a season of colors. The leaves change from green to yellow to red, but not all at the same time. It is a marvelous season and has grown on me over the years. The change in the trees and the air around brings about many wonderful things.

The weather is not as hot or humid like Summer, nor is it cold as Winter. The temperature is just about right. It flexes between the two extremes, but generally stays around the middle. The wind caused by this change can cause a glorious feeling and appreciation. One can be amused watching the leaves fall gently or spinning around in a circle like a little cyclone.

Of course the combination of the wind and change in leaves brings a sad future, the nakedness of the trees. But that isn’t all too gloomy, for we know it won’t be long that they will grow back, and when they do, we’ll appreciate them again.

Some people would say Summer is their favorite season. Generally this means you asked children. The biggest reason is having no school. This becomes less of a factor as one ages because summer vacation shrinks to no existence unless you became a teacher. I guess that’s why Autumn grows on me, because Summer is less appealing.

However, perhaps the biggest reason I love Autumn is because of clothes. The change in weather causes perhaps something better for society. Not only can I pull out a cool jacket or sweatshirt, but women have to put more clothes on! Believe me, over summer, you can discover that clothes were made because there are people who would look horrible without them. I don’t mean to offend anyone, but that’s a fact.

On a different side of things, more clothing means more modesty for our women. Of course some people might cry out that they like the less clothing, but then you should realize that either they like being slutty or they are guys who just want to look at girls for pleasure. Either way, it is better that the weather cools down.

Since the girls are wearing far more modest clothing, it’s easier to respect them as human beings, at least on the guy’s side. Besides, some outfits are actually nicer in the fall than in the summer. The difference here is that the women are dressing to be more beautiful and not so much hot. There is a difference. On only needs to consider how the terms are used. “Hot” is generally for those incite sexual appeal. Therefore they are only sex objects and not really respected at all. On the other hand, “Beautiful” can be used respectably and not for sexual intentions. Note that a modest casual dress can make a girl more beautiful, but not necessarily more hot. There might be some overlap, but they are not the same thing.

The Fall Fashion, being more modest than Summer, also makes it easier for men to focus on the woman herself instead of her body. The fashion complements her form but doesn’t distract from her face. If the clothes were taken away, most women would look the same with just a variety of skin tones and measurements. Only the face would be unique. But of course, the rest of the body would distract from the face. The first step of having a respectable relationship is being able to look face to face.

Autumn is a beautiful season. The leaves change to glorious colors, and the wind can be gentle at times. Rain can fall after a dry summer heat. The weather is cool and comfortable. Last of all, women dress better. All of these things make Autumn a great season for me.

How society creates Loneliness

Facebook is a great tool for connecting people, yet it is also a tool that is inadvertently used to make people feel alone and unwanted. I don't know what can make a a guy feel more unwanted than during intramurals to see the people he asked if they wanted to make a team to say no and turn around and ask a others a few weeks later. It may not be intended to be a backstab, but since facebook has made things very open, it isn't hard to discover when this happens.

It isn't so bad when it's just a couple of people who do it, but when that number grows exponentially to where there are no "friends" left. How else can you feel? Someone might say, "you must have done something to cause them to not like you." However, how can that be when no one tells you that or even indicates that is the case. I don't know where else you can have 500 "friends" and yet feel so alone unless you are a politician.

Of course, facebook isn't the root problem. The problem is with how our society works. Facebook only makes it easier to notice, but it's our society that causes the problem. Is there a way we can fix it? Not really, but maybe we can make it so that these cases become smaller. Maybe we should do what we wish employers do. It can begin with a simple task of when you are looking for a team, ask the person who asked you earlier, especially if you consider him or her a friend.

Losing with Honor

       I'm still getting used to this whole blog idea. However, since I don't really know what to write, I figure I would just share an essay about losing.


        How to lose. Perhaps the most important lesson you can learn from sports besides teamwork. In today’s culture, this lesson is becoming scarce. Parents buckle to their child’s tears and force any organization to give every child a trophy. Of course, this ruins the effect of earning a trophy. It lowers the honor of earning that trophy. It can even undermine the principles and motivations for working to earn that trophy. It’s important to realize, you won’t win in life all the time, if at all. You don’t get everything you work for, but you need to work for it nonetheless.
        Some people say it’s important to play the game not for the trophy, but to have fun. That is important, but that’s not what sticks. People think happiness consists of laughter or pleasure. It doesn’t. Sometimes the greatest joy comes not from having fun, or winning, but from how you played the game. To have fun is part of it, but the greatest satisfaction comes from playing to the best of your ability and the ability of your team. Your team may let you down, but even if the score is 1-10, if you know you made that 1 point as a result of all of your hard work, you don’t care about the score, you’re ecstatic to see the result of doing your best, and that feeling can live for a long time.
          The biggest satisfaction can come from knowing you did your best and played well. Likewise, the biggest dissatisfaction can come from knowing you were held back. It can come from knowing that you and the team could do better, but someone like the coach or another player is pulling you down. Whether it be from a bad formation, to horrible calls from the refs, to a player blowing up at his teammates and discouraging them. The best teams that you enjoy playing for are the ones who like to do their best while encouraging those weaker to get better. They are the ones who practice teamwork to its finest even if they never win. They are a team on and off the field. They are the ones who play with honor.
           It is necessary to remember that in the face of defeat, you need to keep on fighting. You need to go like the Spartans at Thermopylae; like the Rohirrim riding to Minas Tirith, with no hope of victory. The best games are when the two opponents fight head to head at their best and a victor finally emerges. No one really cares about a game that ends up being 10-1. The fans of the winner might enjoy it for a while, but it doesn’t stick. The games that end up being 2-1 with great plays throughout the match from both sides are the epics that stay in the minds for years to come.
This is what makes movies like Rocky, Little Big League, or Cool Runnings so great. They didn’t win, but they lost with honor. They did their best, and went all the way. I recently played a chess match against my old teacher. He won, but I enjoyed the match because I played my best and fairly.
           Likewise, as important as it is to lose with honor, it is likewise necessary to win with honor. To win by cheating will plant a seed of doubt in your mind saying you don’t deserve the victory and you couldn’t have done it without cheating. Even if you win fairly, if it wasn’t by doing your best, you will only look back at it as a waste of time.
           If you remember this, then even if you lose poorly, you can look back and say, “I enjoyed that game. I lost, but I did my best, my team worked hard. It’s just their day today. I will like to play them again, because that was fun.” And the other team may think similarly.

First Blog

I've passed the first step in having a blog; make one. I've never written a blog before. I guess my grammar skills, or lack there of, have something to do with that. However, I believe a blog might just be the best way to write my opinions. I tried Facebook, but people don't really care about opinions there. They only want happy stories or fun posts. If you get philosophical, they isolate you. Besides,  you are limited to the friends you add, unless you go public. I don't want my private life public. So I decided to separate my opinions and observations from personal stuff and write this blog that is open to the public.

Blogs are intriguing since they are sort of like a public journal, except the people reading may not know who you are. This grants a level of security which allows bloggers to give their opinions. It's not always the case, but the possibility is there.

I guess I should explain the other reason why I am writing this blog. My plan is to write a book concerning the problems I observe in our society. It will be a book where it shows another view or explanation that people seem to ignore. That is also what this blog will do, but I fear that since blogs are free and online, people won't read it as easily. I've noticed that it's just easier if the book is in your hand to read. However, publication is tricky and hard work. We'll see how it goes. If that fails, then maybe I'll just publish the material in this blog.

By the way, check out the Facebook page I started a while back. I know it has only a few people liking it, but one thing that I think Facebook is good for is the little thoughts or quotes I have. I'm thinking that I will post some quotes and then the blog will be where I go into detail or write the longer observations. The link is https://www.facebook.com/pages/ND-Moharo/298494943581765 The profile pic is a quote that says, "Philosophy simply seeks the Truth because the Truth is worth it."